"Stephen Fry: What’s the best way to get from the Eiffel Tower to the Louvre without seeing any French people?
Alan Davies: Underwater, look, just go straight along the river.
Sean Lock: What about if you went at lunchtime?
Stephen Fry: Yeah?
Sean Lock: ‘Cause they’re all stuffing their faces with pâté, aren’t they. You could just— oh yeah, lunch, ‘cause they all still break for lunch, don’t they, apart from the tourists.
Alan Davies: [Triumphantly] With your eyes shut! Do it with your eyes shut! Ha ha!
Stephen Fry: Ha ha. Ha ha.
Alan Davies: Wear a blindfold and say “Where’s the Louvre? Show me the Louvre!” People might say, “There’s no point. It’s all art.” Say “I want to experience the ambience. Without seeing any of you Frenchies."
— QI 5x04
"Stephen Fry: The noise we heard in Prairie Dog was “There is a human approaching wearing a yellow shirt.” I know that sounds almost inconceivable, but what is interesting is they can’t distinguish between different genders of human. But they can in different height. So if a tall human approaches in a yellow shirt, the leader who’s on the lookout will make a series of squeaks, and under computer analysis you could differentiate between a tall human approaching in a red shirt, and a short human in a red shirt.
Sue Perkins: How wide is their colour palate?
Stephen Fry: And a tall human in a yellow shirt, and so on.
Ross Noble: Apparently, if a transvestite in tartan approaches, they explode."
— QI 9x07
